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Post by Seedykit on May 17, 2012 16:24:54 GMT -5
Sitting on the windowsill, feeling kind of glum. Misty air and a light,cool breeze says rain has finally come. I step outside, jump and glide, land in the water: SPLASH! Just right now, on this day, I'm having such a bash. My mother says I can not stay out here and play. Now I sit on the couch and think about my splashy day.
;D
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Loinfire
Warrior
Avatar by Silverstar
Posts: 159
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Post by Loinfire on May 18, 2012 2:00:25 GMT -5
Hey, Speedykit. This is really good, is it meant to be a poem? If it's a poem I would add in a few returns, this creates the rhythm in a poem and would make it much clearer  Like this: Sitting on the windowsill,
feeling kind of glum.
Misty air and a light,cool breeze
says rain has finally come.
I step outside, jump and glide,
land in the water: SPLASH!
Just right now, on this day,
I'm having such a bash.
My mother says I can not stay
out here and play.
Now I sit on the couch and
think about my splashy day.
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Post by Seedykit on May 19, 2012 5:27:51 GMT -5
Ah, okay! Thanks, you've been a big help!
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